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Sunday, December 31, 2006

Lancaster 1 Round 3

Crazy Womrat Lady
Last time Wen and James welcomed a second child, a daughter, O'Keefe to their family. Vincent, their son, grew from an infant all the way to a child. James' remaining grandson went off to college.


Rachel: Hey Wen! I'm so glad to be back to see you and your family.
Wen: Womrats!
Rachel: What? Oh yeah you did some shopping didn't you?


Wen: This is Sweets. She's an old kitty already, but a nice addition to family. James is really taken with her.
Rachel: Looks like James' grandson Brendon has returned home with his girlfriend Hedwig Busto.
Wen: Yep, and they are just lovely people.
Rachel: Great! Well, let's take amount and have the happy shoppers show us what they got.

James: I was just trying to support my other grandson, Bryon and I might have gotten a little carried away. I got 4 toilets, 4 pinball machines, a TV, a large fish tank, a pet bed, a gaming system, a toy truck, and a stereo.
Rachel: Boy they never open up a car lot.

Wen: I got a pinball machine...
Rachel: Wait another pinball machine?
Wen: Yeah James said he wanted one so I got it, I didn't realize he would buy 4 on his own. Let's see, a cat tower thing, a plant, a pet food dish, 2 vases, a kid's panda chair and two Womrat cages.
Rachel: Looks like lots of stuff you can sell, let's start with these Womrat cages. *Wen slaps her hand* Ouch!
Wen: No, I'm gonna keep those and the kitty stuff. Sweets can use that.

Brendon: I'm not so much of a shopper. I just got 3 bed beds and a dish.

Hedwig: Just a cat tower thing and food dish. I just don't like to spend money on things we don't need.
Me: Interesting for a Fortune, ummm, person.
Hedwig: What was that?
Rachel: Nothing ignore her.

Rachel: Vincent, whose this?
Vincent: Lydia Potts, she seems nice.

Wen: *singing* Womrats are nice. Womrats are fun. Better treat 'um nice or they'll bite your thumb.

Rachel: Two little Womrats. Are they both the same gender?
Wen: No, but I have them in separate cages.
Rachel: Good, better keep them apart.

Wen: *Distracted* Yeah, I will. Fufu do you want to play with Fifi?
Rachel: Wen?
Wen: What?
Rachel: It's O'Keefe's birthday. Put down the Womrat and join the party.


Rachel: Oh O'Keefe, you so much like your papa, but in a pretty girl way. Hey where's Hedwig going?

Rachel: There you are.
Hedwig: I just don't understand why the university gives us such bad clothes when we graduate.
Rachel: I don't either. Wait, do I see a wedding dress there?
Hedwig: Yeah, Brendon hasn't proposed yet, but I know he wants to marry.
Me: *Thinking to self* Poor Hedwig, she doesn't know how badly Brendon wants to flirt with the maid and any other female that breaths.
-Back at the house-

Rachel: Wait, what's going on? No one was pregnant. Where'd this infant come from?

Brendon: Isn't my baby boy so cute? He's purple.
Rachel: *Looks at me* What did you do to him?
Me: Nothing, he just knows this house has to stay with a Lancaster and there are no female Lancasters, so either he could try to be abducted and most likely not or he could adopt and save us all a lot of trouble.
Rachel: Um, but he adopted a boy.
Me: The agency is weird. He can choose age, but not gender. He'll just have to try again.

Vincent: All right, first A+!!!

Rachel: Oh don't worry O'Keefe, no one brings home an A+ their first day.

Vincent: Mom, Mom, look!!! A+!!!!
Wen: I just don't understand, yesterday there were only two.

Rachel: Wen, what happened?
Wen: I'm really not sure, now there are three.
Rachel: Did you let them play together.
Wen: Just for a minute.
Rachel: I see.

James: Whose the cutest little Great Grandson ever? Cougar is!

Vincent: *singing* Womrats are nice
O'Keefe: *singing* Womrats are fun
Both: *singing* Better treat 'um nice or they'll bite your thumb.

O'Keefe: Daddy, where do baby Womrats come from?
James: Why dear?
O'Keefe: I think Fufu hurt Fifi. They were playing and now she's real sick. I think we'll be needing a new baby Womrat when Fifi dies, so I wanted to know where to get them.
James: We can cover that later, let's work on your math for now.
-The next morning-

Rachel: What's going on O'Keefe?
O'Keefe: I thought Fifi was sick, but she wasn't. This is Momo.
Rachel: I see. Wait, do you hear something outside? Like a van?

Rachel: Oh it's the social worker dropping off another baby.

Brendon: Meet my baby girl, Puma.
Me: *to self* Interesting, Brendon is romance, has constant wants for other women, but has really taken to his adopted children. Hummm....
Rachel: I'll go get Wen so she can meet Puma.

Rachel: There you are. There's another new baby in the house.
Wen: Is it mine?
Rachel; *with a puzzled look* What? No, She's Brendon's.
Wen: *sad* oh, I really want a third so 3 can graduate from college.
Rachel: Well, there are things that can be done about that.
-After the sunsets-

James: Get here sentry bot. I built you to catch whomever has been stealing our papers.

Rachel: Oh wow, it's Cougar's birthday already.

Rachel : Ahh, he's SO cute!

O'Keefe: Momma, momma, we have another Womrat!

Wen: *singing* Womrats are nice. Womrats are fun. Better treat 'um nice or they'll bite your thumb.

Rachel: oh hey Hedwig got promoted.
Hedwig: Yeah, I really want to be a business tycoon.
Rachel: Looks like you're almost there. Wait do you hear something upstairs? *runs off*

Rachel: James you building another Sentry Bot? Hey whose your fri.... Oh no it's the grim reaper!!!

Rachel: As if this moment couldn't be worse. Sweets is so upset she best friend is dying, she runs away!


Rachel: Oh no, Wen is taking this REALLY hard!
Me: Get up Wen, you're all right, no need for the shrink to come, I can talk you through this!!!

Me: Oh no, there goes one point.

-Downstairs-

Rachel: Vincent don't you think maybe you should hold off on the birthday 'til tomorrow? No? Go ahead then.



Vincent: *Sobbing* my dad just died! I miss him so much already!!!
Rachel: Maybe you should have waited.

Rachel: Looks like another birthday too.

Rachel: Puma is darling too. Look around dear, one day this house will be all your's.
-The next morning-

Wen: Oh Bacilus, I'm so glad you could make it other to comfort me.

Rachel: Comfort indeed!

Wen: Womrats are nice. Womrats are fun. Better treat 'um nice or they'll bite your thumb.

Brendon: Whose bright idea was it to put in this elevator?
Rachel: I think it was Wen's. She did have a second one put in so when one breaks down at least you can still go from floor to floor.
Brendon: that's beside the point. They are dangerous.

Hedwig: Looks like we've got a Busto on the way!

Brendon: Hey lady, what made you think putting in elevators in a house with children would a good idea?

Wen: Hey, there's no room for stairs and remember I was the first one to be in one when it broke and I'm fine!

Wen: *sobbing* My James dies and this is how his grandson treats me.

Brendon: Don't pretend to be upset that my grandpa died and then bring that man into his bed the very next day!!!

Rachel: Holy crap, Brendon just jumped Wen!!!

Wen: I loved you're grandfather! How dare you question my love for him!!!

Wen: Take that!!!

Rachel: All the excitement, we missed Cougar's birthday. What's with the pink PJs?
Cougar: I really don't know. They look good with my skin.
Rachel: That they do.

O'Keefe: Hedwig is such a nice lady. I'm so glad we get to grow up here.

Rachel: Hum, I wonder if it was the WooHooing or the fist fight that woke James up.
Me: Prosperity Point's first ghost.

Wen: *singing* Womrats are nice. Womrats are fun. Better treat 'um nice or they'll bite your thumb.

Wen: Puma, you're daddy is busy so I thought I'd help you learn to talk.
Puma: No!

Rachel: Brendon what are you doing?

Brendon: Yummy Grilled Cheese!
Rachel: *looking at me* Did you have something to do with this?
Me: *whislting innocently*
Rachel: Did you?
Me: Trust me the family will be better off in the long run. Hey isn't that the phone ringing!?!?!

Cougar: Oh yes, please bring our Sweets back to us.


O'Keefe: Say thanks for bringing our kitty back nice guy.
Adam: Not a problem little lady.

Rachel: Wow, another birthday!!! Happy birthday, dear Puma!!!

Puma: Yippeee! I grew up very well!!!

Brendon: what are you doing is that nighty again. Was you're little bedroom friend here again?

Brendon: You slut! How dare you dishonor the memory of my grandfather like this. Get out you crazy Womrat lady!
Wen: This is my house you get out, you ingrate!
Brendon: This is the Lancaster house and you are NOT a Lancaster. Get out before I call the police!

Wen: Here's a nice place, I guess we'll go there. I can't believe this is happening!!! Brendon always seemed so nice, now I hate him. This is going to be really hard for the kids.

Vincent: So where are we going Mom?

Wen: To our new house.
O'Keefe: *crying* Why Mom, why can't we stay here?
Wen: It's for the best. Brendon should be able to have the house without his step grandmother hanging around.

Me: this is when the scaring started.
Cougar: Ahhh!!! Great Grand Dad James, why are you scaring me?

Brendon: Ahhhh!!! Grandpa, why are you scaring my family? She was dishonoring you, she had to go.
-The next Morning-

Hedwig: Ahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rachel: Oh boy a baby!!!

Hedwig: Meet our baby boy, Tiger.
Rachel: Well, I guess I had better get on my way. I already stayed a few minutes late to see the baby.

Points: 3 for the large cats, I mean kids, Cougar, Puma and Tiger
-1 for Wen's break down

Total: 2
The womrats left with Wen BTW (side note, no the Womrats can't really breed, I did that for the story)

Funny Picture

Jenn, you should really remove the phone books before playing chess with a kid.