Monday, January 29, 2007

Cooprider 1 - Round 3

Out of the Frying Pan
Previously at the Cooprider House 1, Kricket and Leeland returned from college and got married. They enjoyed many Dream Dates together before Kricket found out she was pregnant. Soon after Scorpian and Grasshopper were born and Leeland started to change. He opened a Poker Hall and started drinking and partying all night. Soon his discontent turned to distain. In the meantime Leeland got very close to his "friend" Venice Holiday. She had a baby, but is he the father?

Rachel: Hi Kricket. How are things going?
Kricket: Great!
Rachel: Oh, great then!

Rachel: Hey Leeland, who are you calling?
Leeland: Just a friend.

Rachel: Leeland!
Leeland: What?
Rachel: Ugh!

Rachel: Oh and now you're feeling sick.
Leeland: I don't know what I'm doing any more.
Venice: *from the other room* Leeland, come here dear.

Rachel: Leeland what are you doing? Kricket is in the next room.
Venice: Don't listen to her baby.

Rachel: Eep!
Me: Um, well, I'm getting my bleeping machine ready.
Rachel: Bleeping machine?
Me: For all the swearing that's coming.

Kricket: What the *bleep* are you doing with that *bleeping* *bleep* you *bleeping* *bleep*?

Leeland: Me? What about you? Tricking me into having those kids.
Kricket: Those kids? What are you on? They're OUR kids! We love our kids!

Rachel: Venice you sure do look happy.

Leeland: You *bleep* everything used to be so great, but now you're nothing to me!

Kricket: You *bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeppppppppppppppppppppp*

Rachel: Oh my gawd Kricket, you're pregnant!
Kricket: Oh no!!!

Kricket: You *bleeping* *bleep* you come in here and ruin my family! Fill my husband's brain with nonsense! He used to love me before you came along. You *bleeeeeeeeeeeeeppppppppp*
Venice: *snickers* He said you're crap.

Leeland: How dare you talk to her like that. She's twice the woman you'll ever be. She won't trick me into having children. As if it wasn't bad enough, now you're having ANOTHER baby! You *bleeping* *bleep*

Kricket: Oh no, now you're standing up for HER! I don't think so!

Kricket: Get out! Now! You *bleeping* *bleep*.

Leeland: What?

Rachel: Seriously, you're crying? I thought you wanted this?
Leeland: I don't know now.

Kricket: And you, *bleep* get away from my son!

Rachel: Oh no Scorpian! I'm sorry, it's for the best really.

Rachel: Oh no Grasshopper. It will be OK in time.

Kricket: Whose my big boy? Learned to walk.
Rachel: Are the twins doing better?
Kricket: Yeah.
Rachel: And you?

Kricket: My friend Quavi came over. He helped cheer me up.

Rachel: Kricket are you sure this is the best ide...
Me: Hey you can't influence her.
Rachel: What come on?
Me: Get over here
Mumbled voices
Rachel: Fine! Go ahead Kricket.

Kricket: Say Momma.
Grasshopper: Noo.

Kricket: Say Momma for Momma.
Scorpian: Noo.

Kricket: Oh how my babies grow so fast.

Rachel: Grasshopper you are so lovely.
Grasshopper: Thanks lady.

Rachel: And look whose outside getting ready to pay to come in. It's the low life cheater.

Rachel: Oh Scorpian you sure a strapping young man.
Scorpian: Uh thanks.

Scorpian: Uh Dad, will you help me make some candies?
Leeland: Not right now son, it's poker time!
-the next day-

Kricket: Gee Mom it sure is great that you came by today. I think it's going to be a big day.

Kricket: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kricket: It's a girl!

Kricket: Met my daughter, Butterfly.
Rachel: Such a pretty name for such a pretty girl.

Rachel: My, my look whose back.
Me: At least he's playing red hands with Grasshopper.

Rachel: Oh and Scorpian brought Florida home from school. My these girls sure do get around, just like their Moms.
Me: Hey, no judging.
Rachel: *Mocking* No judging.

Kricket: You son of a *bleep*! How dare you keep coming back here and interfering with My family!

Leeland: You're family? They aren't just your family!
Kricket: A few days ago you wanted nothing to do with them. You wished they had never been born.

Leeland: I never said that you *bleep*. Besides I was drunk.
Kricket: Leave NOW!!!

Kricket: We don't need your daddy. We are just fine and happy without him. I hope you never have to meet him, he's a very bad man.

Grasshopper: Weeee!
Rachel: Kids, down.

Leeland: *slurring* You like punk, how dare you hit me with a waattr ballooooon.
Rachel: Hey leave Jupiter alone! Didn't Kricket tell you to leave?
*Leeland walks off, slumbing*

Rachel: Oh good, they missed that.

Rachel: These kids don't need to see their father like that.

Scorpian: Ms. Wen, will you help me make candies?
Wen: Sure son.

Grasshopper: Yippee!!! A+!!
Rachel: Way to go and man you got some air their girl.
Grasshopper: They don't call me Grasshopper for nothing.

Rachel: Way to go Kricket!!!

Rachel: Ahh a little quite time to play poker. What? There's a birthday? All right, later.

Rachel: Butterfly is real beauty too!

Kricket: Quavi, I love you. Will you move in and be part of our family?
Quavi: Yes.
Rachel: Nooo!!!!
Me: *whispering* All right in case you don't remember, Venice is also sleeping with Quavi and he could possibly be the father of her child.

Rachel: Well I see you're helping out Quavi.
Quavi: Yes, I must take care of her little one's so she will allow me to use her womb to further the mission.
Me: Hey you aren't in Prosperity Falls anymore, snap out of it! Your mission doesn't exist here. Xuan is a totally different person and so are you. *snaps fingers*
Quavi: Ah, yes I see. Well these children are just lovely and I do love Kricket, so I help her out when I can.
Rachel: *looks at me* What was that about?
Me: None of your consern.

Butterfly: Dada?
Leeland: Dada? Who is this?
Rachel: Um, your daughter, Butterfly. She was born after you left.

Leeland: Hi Butterfly
Butterfly: Dada!

Rachel: This is an interesting turn.
Me: Yeah well he isn't drunk right now.

Rachel: Nice going Quavi!

Quavi: I love you so much Kricket. Thank you so much letting me be apart of this family.

Rachel: Wowzers look at all the promotions!

Kricket: Oh! Well Quavi, I guess you'll be an even bigger part of this family very soon. You're gonna be a dad.

Scorpian: Gee thanks for the lessons Mom.
Kricket: No problem Scorpian. I'd do anything for my family.

Rachel: My how fast the babies grow. Happy Birthday Butterfly.

Rachel: Wow Butterfly, you will be a real heartbreaker one day.
Butterfly: *giggles* Ah thanks lady.

Rachel: Wow Quavi, one last promotion before I need to go. Great job! Bye everyone, it's been an... interesting week.

Points: 2 for Butterfly and Quavi
I wonder if Kricket can trust her new found love?

Funny Picture:

Hair through the back and stomach has got to hurt!